Tokyo!

Many days in the Bishop world, life is like a musical. Some days it's "The Sound of Music," some days it's "Les Miserables." And on our arrival to Tokyo on March 31st we met our very own 'Master of the House.'

Meet Max. Max is the proprietor of the JGH Hotel. Sounds nice doesn't it? A new hotel situated minutes from Tokyo's central attractions managed by a sweet couple of Tokyoites(?)who want to share their love of their city with the world. A double room with private bath, breakfast included, for only $44 a night. It was the price that should have tipped me off. No matter how glowing the reviews, you always get what you pay for...

On our eagerly anticipated first trip to Tokyo we took the Shinkansen into the heart of the big city. All shining steel and glittering glass on a bright blue spring morning, Tokyo took our breath away. It felt like the opening scene to "Wonderful Town" or "Guys and Dolls." But then I hadn't slept since before work the night before so maybe I was a little giddy.

We just as quickly left the city center to head out to Nishi-Kawaguchi and our hotel. We followed the directions to the out of the way house, set off of the street in a run-down residential neighbourhood. I was expecting something homey and hostel-ish so when Max answered the door looking like a short Japanese version of Elvis, the late Hawaii years, I was more amused than alarmed. But Carl's spidey sense started tingling. Streaming cigarette smoke, he took us to the tiny kitchen to sign-in. Max offered us sake, which Carl had to reach for over my head to get. We kampai'd our cups and poured another. Max said I was a good drinker. I'm not sure if that was a compliment.

After leafing through many handwritten notebooks he found our reservation and expressed extreme surprise that we were married. He had us sign a waiver that included a clause that guests indulge in no destructive or untoward behaviour...including sex. They really didn't get too many married couples through there. He took a refundable deposit for linen and cleaning and explained that as a small establishment, they charged a little extra for extras, like extra for the towels and for phone calls, internet, and 350 yen per bath (not showers, thankfully). Huh, OK, that wasn't on the website. But hey, we get our own room with a private bathroom, so that shouldn't be a problem right? We paid for the room up front and then he showed us to our room, by unlocking the bicycle lock on the sliding door right behind us in the tiny kitchen. This is when my eyes popped as Carl's jaw gaped. Homemade bunk beds with not enough room around them to put down our suitcase or stand up and get changed. A homemade dividing wall that divided the already tiny Japanese room in two. And next door wasn't the bath, it was the room of (during the week we were there) British frat boys, a Mormon family, and German backpackers. We know this because we could hear every word they said, just like they could hear every breath we took.

We took one look at the tiny room, and despite our travel weariness, dropped our bags and headed right back out on the road. We went to the Tokyo Bay area and wandered around, trying to sort out our options among the bright lights and technological marvels below the glowing ferris wheel. We resolved to only use the 'hotel' to sleep, and to spend as much time as possible out enjoying Tokyo. So despite the fact that our futons were as thick as paper and the uneaten breakfasts were often reused the next morning, and that on our way back each night we were hassled by pimps and prostitutes (the first I've seen in Japan) to go into the strip joints and other clubs that lined the walk back, and despite the fact that we were also hassled by cops on the one day it was pouring rain and my chest cold was at its worst, we had a pretty amazing Tokyo adventure.

Highlights include the Tsukiji Fish Market, Meiji Shrine, Asakasuka Temple, Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySea, Harajuku, Roppongi, Shibuya, the Metropolitan Government Towers, Tokyo Bay, Ginza, the Beer Museum and hanging with Joe and big glasses of beer on Carl's 32nd birthday.

Coming sometime...butts and breasts and Costco. Stay tuned